My wife was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in March 2009. Back then we didn't know that I was going to receive my own cancer diagnosis only seven months later. But in this mini series of six parts called "Our Breast Cancer", I intend to talk about how our lives have changed when we learned about my wife's cancer. It's important that you understand, that the following text is from my point of view only, not my wife's .
I was travelling for business from Jersey to North Carolina. I believe it was the afternoon of March 3rd (2009), when my wife Ann called me up in my hotel room. I knew that she just went for her annual mammogram. They had her coming back in because they saw something on the slides and wanted a biopsy done. But we weren't concerned at all because that happened to us before and also to Ann's sisters. I think they call it having lumpy breasts, if a woman has little masses in her breast tissue. Anyway, there was absolutely not even the remotest thought of Breast Cancer.
There was this weird two seconds of silence and then she told me, that I had to be very strong now. Her doctor called her and broke her news about her Breast Cancer diagnosis. I wasn't prepared for that. If someone had told me that I had cancer, yes, I would have been in surprised and maybe shocked. But learning about my wife and her cancer, that was too much for me. My throat clogged and my stomach began to hurt.
What really killed me in that very moment was the fact that I wasn't with her to just hold her in my arms. But here I was in this hotel room hundreds of miles away and no chance to get back to her before the next day, if I was lucky enough to catch a plane then. When I received my own cancer diagnosis, I was way more contained and calm. But my wife, no, that was too much for me to take.
Ann told me that she had already informed her brother Gary and he was waiting on the other line, so she had to say good-bye to me for now. As we hung up the phone, I collapsed immediately. Nobody should ever go through something like that.
And in the midst of all that, all of a sudden all the things in my life got assigned with different priorities. Ann's health was now the single most important thing. All our struggles with the mortgage, the bills, etc. became irrelevant instantaneously. I prayed and asked the Lord for help. I was never into organized religion, but I always had faith. Well, he might have been a little surprised that I asked him for help, but for some reason, I felt that he was there for me and I experienced a sense of comfort.
There was nothing more on earth I wanted to do but get back to Ann as soon as possible. I had nothing to lose, so I went on the internet and checked my airline's flight schedule for the night. I was happy when I realized that there were a few available empty seats, so I immediately changed my original booking. But only five minutes later I received a call from the airline. That flight was getting cancelled, because of the bad weather that was expected later that night. But they offered me to get me on the 7:30pm flight instead. That was very nice of them, however, that meant that I had only 40 minutes to pack my luggage, check out at the hotel and get a cab over to the Raleigh airport.
The hotel kindly offered me to give me a shuttle ride over to the Raleigh-Durham airport. Unfortunately, the driver was new in his job and from Kentucky so he didn't know the area that well. And of course, he missed the one and only exit off of the highway to the airport. The next U-turn was 15 miles away. I could literally see me plane standing there, but now there was no way to get on to it.
I don't know how it was actually possible, but I still made it. I like to believe that the Lord had mercy with me and I know that this might sound corny to some of you. But anyway, I got on the waiting plane and a few hours later I was able to hold my wife in my arms. The first battle in our personal war on cancer was won.
I was travelling for business from Jersey to North Carolina. I believe it was the afternoon of March 3rd (2009), when my wife Ann called me up in my hotel room. I knew that she just went for her annual mammogram. They had her coming back in because they saw something on the slides and wanted a biopsy done. But we weren't concerned at all because that happened to us before and also to Ann's sisters. I think they call it having lumpy breasts, if a woman has little masses in her breast tissue. Anyway, there was absolutely not even the remotest thought of Breast Cancer.
There was this weird two seconds of silence and then she told me, that I had to be very strong now. Her doctor called her and broke her news about her Breast Cancer diagnosis. I wasn't prepared for that. If someone had told me that I had cancer, yes, I would have been in surprised and maybe shocked. But learning about my wife and her cancer, that was too much for me. My throat clogged and my stomach began to hurt.
What really killed me in that very moment was the fact that I wasn't with her to just hold her in my arms. But here I was in this hotel room hundreds of miles away and no chance to get back to her before the next day, if I was lucky enough to catch a plane then. When I received my own cancer diagnosis, I was way more contained and calm. But my wife, no, that was too much for me to take.
Ann told me that she had already informed her brother Gary and he was waiting on the other line, so she had to say good-bye to me for now. As we hung up the phone, I collapsed immediately. Nobody should ever go through something like that.
And in the midst of all that, all of a sudden all the things in my life got assigned with different priorities. Ann's health was now the single most important thing. All our struggles with the mortgage, the bills, etc. became irrelevant instantaneously. I prayed and asked the Lord for help. I was never into organized religion, but I always had faith. Well, he might have been a little surprised that I asked him for help, but for some reason, I felt that he was there for me and I experienced a sense of comfort.
There was nothing more on earth I wanted to do but get back to Ann as soon as possible. I had nothing to lose, so I went on the internet and checked my airline's flight schedule for the night. I was happy when I realized that there were a few available empty seats, so I immediately changed my original booking. But only five minutes later I received a call from the airline. That flight was getting cancelled, because of the bad weather that was expected later that night. But they offered me to get me on the 7:30pm flight instead. That was very nice of them, however, that meant that I had only 40 minutes to pack my luggage, check out at the hotel and get a cab over to the Raleigh airport.
The hotel kindly offered me to give me a shuttle ride over to the Raleigh-Durham airport. Unfortunately, the driver was new in his job and from Kentucky so he didn't know the area that well. And of course, he missed the one and only exit off of the highway to the airport. The next U-turn was 15 miles away. I could literally see me plane standing there, but now there was no way to get on to it.
I don't know how it was actually possible, but I still made it. I like to believe that the Lord had mercy with me and I know that this might sound corny to some of you. But anyway, I got on the waiting plane and a few hours later I was able to hold my wife in my arms. The first battle in our personal war on cancer was won.
About the Author:
A few months after his wife Ann got diagnosed with Breast Cancer, the author of this article Tony Ulrich started his website called Our Breast Cancer Info Webpage. You just read Our Breast Cancer Chapter One from his mini essay 'Ann's an Tony's Breast Cancer Story'.
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